How do I journal about being excluded without spiraling into anger or self‑blame?

Try a simple flow: 1) Name the event in one sentence using only facts. 2) List the feelings you noticed (e.g., hurt, anger, shame) and where they showed up in your body. 3) Separate “facts vs. story” by writing two columns—what happened vs. what I told myself it meant. 4) Circle of control: list what was in your control (your effort, your values, your response) and what wasn’t (their rules, their opinions). 5) Close with one compassionate line to yourself. In the Stoic app, use today’s prompt and keep entries short and honest—aim for clarity, not perfection.

What questions can I use to tell whether it was healthy standards or gatekeeping?

Journal on these prompts: • What explicit criteria were shared, and were they applied consistently? • Did the boundary protect safety/quality, or did it protect status/exclusivity? • Was feedback specific and actionable, or vague and moving the goalposts? • Did I feel invited to learn, or shamed for not already knowing? • If the roles were reversed, how would I communicate the boundary with fairness? Let your answers guide understanding, not judgment. Stoic can hold these reflections so you can revisit patterns over time.

How can I turn a gatekeeping experience into growth without minimizing how much it hurt?

Balance both truths on the page: 1) Validate—write exactly why it hurt and what it touched (e.g., past rejection). 2) Meaning—note what the experience revealed about your values (belonging, fairness, mastery). 3) Choice—identify one value‑aligned next step you’re willing to take, however small (learn, seek inclusive spaces, set a boundary). 4) Reframe—finish with a neutral or compassionate reframe: “This was painful, and I’m still worthy and capable.” Use Stoic to keep these steps brief; consistent small entries build resilience without forcing silver linings.

Journaling Idea - On Gatekeeping.

Have you ever felt left out by someone else’s gatekeeping?

Think about a time you wanted to be part of something but weren’t invited in. How did that feel? What did you take away from that experience?

Journal in Stoic

Written by

Natalia Łobodzińska

Published on

Jul 24, 2025

Journal in Stoic

HowTo=target

Frequently Asked Questions

Looking to learn moreabout emotions?

Find hundreds of quotes, affirmations, lessons, guided journals, and so much more in stoic.

Natalia Łobodzińska

Head of Content at stoic.

Natalia oversees all content inside the Stoic app — from guided journals to daily prompts. She works closely with therapists and writers to make sure every word helps users reflect and grow. She also manages translations to keep the experience thoughtful and consistent across languages.

Have you ever felt left out by someone else’s gatekeeping?

Join the Minimal Newsletter

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you think about this?

How do you think about this?

How do you think about this?

Looking to learn moreabout emotions?

More prompts on On Gatekeeping