How can I journal about when to bend my rules without losing my boundaries?

Try a simple 5-step check-in when you notice an exception: 1) Name the rule you bent. 2) Note the trigger (person, place, emotion). 3) Name the value you were protecting (compassion, rest, opportunity) and the cost you accepted. 4) Decide if this was a one-time mercy or a pattern. 5) Rewrite the rule as a “guided exception” (e.g., “I don’t work after 7 pm—except once a week for projects that truly matter”). Use Keats’s line to honor the heart’s affections without abandoning your principles, and Beauvoir’s reminder of responsibility to weigh impact on others. In Stoic, use this week’s prompts to capture real moments as they happen; end each entry with one sentence: “My non‑negotiable stayed/shifted today because…”

What’s a quick nightly reflection template for ‘On Making Exceptions’ I can do in 5 minutes?

Use the 3-2-1 method: 3 Facts: What rule, what exception, what outcome? 2 Motives: Which two motives drove it (compassion, exhaustion, fear, ambition)? 1 Adjustment: One tweak to your rule (“fan this spark into a flame,” as Miranda says) or one guardrail to prevent slide (Nightingale’s no-excuses clarity). Optional taglines: Nin’s “Stories do not end” can close your entry—reminding you that today’s exception is part of an evolving narrative, not a failure. Do this in Stoic each night this week to spot which exceptions are wise flexibility versus slippery slopes.

How do I decide who gets a ‘free pass’ without enabling bad patterns?

Run the FREE PASS test: F—Frequency: Is this rare or routine? R—Reciprocity: Do they also respect your boundaries? E—Effect: Does the exception leave you drained or grounded? E—Example: Would you advise a friend to do the same? P—Purpose: Is this compassion or conflict-avoidance? A—Accountability: Are there clear terms and a review point? S—Scope: Keep it specific and reversible. Dickens reminds us we’re mysteries to one another—so ask, don’t assume. If there’s no seat at the table (Chisholm), bring boundaries with the folding chair: state the exception and its limit. Journal in Stoic about one person this week using the test, then note what changes when you set terms for the exception.

On Making Exceptions

This week, we’ll reflect on the times we bend our own rules.

Oct 13, 2025 ― Oct 19, 2025

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